[00:00:00]
In today’s episode, I want to talk about leading with optimism and how principals can transform their school culture through positive leadership. That’s all coming up here on The Principal’s Handbook. Stay tuned.
Welcome to The Principal’s Handbook, your go-to resource for principals looking to revamp their leadership approach and prioritize self-care. I’m Barb Flowers, a certified life coach with eight years of experience as an elementary principal. Tune in each week as we delve into strategies for boosting mental resilience, managing time effectively, and nurturing overall wellness.
From tackling daily challenges to maintaining a healthy work-life balance, I’m Barb Flowers. We’ll navigate the complexities of school leadership together. Join me in fostering your sense of purpose as a principal and reigniting your passion for the job. Welcome to a podcast where your wellbeing is the top priority.
Welcome back to the podcast.
[00:01:00]
I’m excited to talk about the topic of leading with optimism. I think this is such a great topic for principals because you can really transform your school culture when you lead with positive leadership. I’m a huge advocate for positive thoughts and positive thinking. It’s a large part of life coaching and what I do with my clients.
I really help them evaluate the thoughts they’re having because one of the things I’ll teach today is how impactful our thoughts are.
But before we get into that, I want to talk about how the principal’s mindset has a huge ripple effect on the entire school community. Think about a time you were a teacher or in a building where the leader didn’t have a positive mindset—maybe they spoke negatively about teachers or students—and how that impacted the entire school community.
It’s so important to remember how much the leader sets the tone for the building. If the principal is positive and optimistic about teachers, students, and parents, it will set the whole building up for success.
[00:02:00]
It makes a huge impact on school culture and how people interact in the building. It really sets the tone and foundation for the entire school.
When a principal has positive thinking and is optimistic, it creates high staff morale, increases teacher satisfaction and retention, and helps students have better experiences and achievement.
It also helps parents be more engaged and brings the community in when the principal has a positive outlook. This models what positive leadership can do for all stakeholders in the school community.
So, the principal having a positive mindset and being optimistic is huge.
Some ways this plays out in leadership:
When you lead with optimism, teachers feel supported because you’re not leading with the negative mindset of “It’s too much” or “We can’t do it.” Instead, it’s, “We got this. We can do this. I’m here to support you and your students.”
That positive, team mindset makes teachers feel supported and creates a better classroom environment.
Also, when staff feel positivity from your leadership, they collaborate more. It improves problem-solving at all levels because everyone approaches challenges from a positive lens—“We got this. We can fix this. What’s in our control? What can we actually work on?”
[00:04:00]
I want to talk about a concept I coach on called the T cycle. It’s called the T cycle because it shows how your Thoughts create your Emotions, which create your Actions.
It’s important to understand the T cycle and how it influences your leadership.
If you’re in a negative thought cycle, for example, thinking “That teacher isn’t trying hard enough,” that leads to emotions like frustration or disappointment.
Your actions toward that teacher might be punitive evaluation or harsh feedback coming from frustration.
I can think of my own situations like this where I was frustrated with a teacher and didn’t handle the situation well because my thoughts fed those emotions and the resulting negative actions.
[00:05:00]
However, if you reframe your thought to “This teacher needs additional support and resources,” it changes your emotions to empathy and determination to help.
That leads to collaborative coaching and professional development plans that truly support the teacher, rather than harsh feedback that may not help.
That’s an example of how thoughts about a teacher impact emotions and actions.
Another scenario is with parents.
If you think “These parents are always complaining,” it creates emotions of defensiveness and annoyance.
When a parent contacts you with a concern, you might respond dismissively or minimally, just wanting to get the parent off your plate.
But if you change the thought to “This feedback from parents will help us improve and make me a better leader,” you begin to feel appreciation and curiosity about the situation.
That leads to active listening, solution-focused responses, and problem-solving to fix the issue.
[00:06:00]
Having positive thoughts really changes everything.
I’m not talking about toxic positivity where you ignore problems because “everything’s great.”
I’m talking about looking through an optimistic, positive lens, not a negative one.
I noticed this in my own leadership during a short period of burnout when I struggled to be optimistic.
Leading from a negative place spirals everything: negative thoughts, negative emotions, negative actions.
As a principal, it’s crucial to keep your emotions in check.
It’s easy to let emotions get out of hand and roll over situations, but if you’re unaware of what you’re feeling and thinking, it can get out of control.
Leading with unchecked emotions—positive or negative—is not good for anyone.
You need to be mindful of what thoughts drive your emotions.
[00:08:00]
That’s the T cycle, something I coach my clients on.
When a principal struggles, we dive deep: if a certain action or result is happening, what are the emotions? What thoughts cause those emotions?
You can do this on your own when struggling with certain results or actions.
To reframe and change negative thoughts, you need to create space for positive thoughts.
One way is through affirmations—positive thoughts you can keep handy to counter negativity.
For example, if you feel down on your leadership or like you’re not making a difference, use affirmations to uplift your energy and mindset.
Some affirmations I like:
-
“My leadership inspires positive change throughout the school community.”
-
“I’m building a culture of excellence and support.”
-
“Every challenge is an opportunity to grow as an effective leader.”
I love thinking about challenges as growth opportunities rather than frustrations.
[00:09:00]
Reframing challenges is really helpful.
Right before I left my school, I dealt with a very difficult parent.
Every interaction with that parent forced me out of my comfort zone and helped me grow as a leader and a person—even though I didn’t like the conflict.
Think about the people and conversations that challenge you—difficult staff, students, or parents. Those are what help you grow most.
If everyone always did exactly what you wanted, you’d never grow as a leader.
So as you face challenging situations, remember they’re helping you grow.
It’s helping you become a better leader—and you can help your teachers see this too.
The more you lead with optimism, the more you can help teachers reframe their thinking.
I did a lot of reframing with teachers, helping them see negative situations from a different, positive lens.
Sometimes it’s hard to see that when you’re in the middle of it, but it makes a huge difference.
[00:11:00]
Some practical ways to lead with optimism:
First, have a system for staff recognition that focuses on celebrating the good things staff do.
I’ve done weekly notes recognizing people and giving out treats.
We’ve done positive notes in mailboxes thanking staff for contributions.
We’ve also had staff give positive notes to each other.
Another fun idea was “purple tickets,” where staff give each other tickets that go into a drawing for prizes.
At staff meetings, we’d draw tickets and read aloud what people were recognized for—it was always fun.
[00:12:00]
Another idea is personal reflection time.
I like a practice called the 3-3-3: at the end of the day, list three gratitudes, three things that went well, and three things you expect to go well the next day.
It sets me up for success and helps reflect on good things.
I had an assistant principal who did this with me. We’d hold each other accountable and sometimes laugh on crazy days about finding something positive.
There’s always something good—a great conversation with a teacher or a connection with a student.
The more you practice pulling out positives, the more your brain naturally focuses on positivity.
[00:13:00]
Focusing on positivity and optimism rewires your brain.
Make sure you have staff recognition systems and personal reflection routines.
Also, manage your own stress—stress management helps regulate your emotions.
When you’re stressed, emotions often get out of control, which impacts your actions.
Since emotions are created by thoughts, managing stress helps keep your leadership positive.
[00:14:00]
Creating a great work-life balance is key.
I know some leaders think it’s impossible to have balance.
I have podcast episodes on work-life balance and principal wellbeing linked in the show notes—go listen if you struggle with this.
It is possible to have work-life balance if you change how you think about it.
It comes down to changing your mindset about time and how you handle situations during the school day.
I also have an episode about how to think about time that I’ll link.
Evaluate if you’re stressed, emotions are scattered, and positivity is lacking.
Go back to work-life balance as a leader.
How can you focus on having that balance?
[00:15:00]
I’ve personally seen the difference in myself.
When I focused on school all the time and couldn’t disconnect—I mean going home but still ruminating on discipline, teacher conversations, parent calls—my emotions were all over the place.
I was stressed and my thoughts about being a principal weren’t great because I couldn’t shut it off.
I couldn’t just be a mom or a wife or focus on myself.
Having work-life balance helps you lead with optimism.
I always told teachers: work hard while you’re here, but rest hard when you go home.
Go home, disconnect, be with family, and rejuvenate.
[00:16:00]
If we live in constant stress, working all day then thinking about work all evening, then coming back the next day to do it again, our thoughts become so negative.
Negative thoughts lead to negative emotions and negative actions in leadership.
That’s going to lead your building in a negative way.
That is huge and something I can’t stress enough.
It’s a core part of what I love coaching leaders on: helping find balance, morning routines, health habits, eating healthier, and especially sleep.
Getting enough sleep is vital.
As a leader, you must focus on your own wellbeing and work-life balance to be your best, lead with optimism, and have positive thoughts, emotions, and actions that will move your school forward.
[00:17:00]
If you’re struggling with this, I’d love to coach you.
I offer free consultations to talk about what this could look like for you.
To summarize:
-
Have staff recognition systems to focus positivity in your building.
-
Take time for personal reflection, like the 3-3-3 practice.
-
Prioritize work-life balance and your own wellbeing as a leader.
That’s what I have for you today on leading with optimism.
As we close, remember the long-term impact of leading with optimism and positivity.
Find me on Instagram at @barbflowerscoaching—I have many resources for you.
If you love the show and listen on Apple, please scroll down in your app and leave feedback—it helps other principals find the podcast.
Keep in mind, you have the power to shape your life according to the mindset you choose.
I hope you have a great week, and I’ll see you back here next time.
[00:18:00]
