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In today’s episode, I want to talk about the Sunday Scaries as a school principal. That’s all coming up next right here on The Principal’s Handbook. Stay tuned.

Welcome to The Principal’s Handbook, your go-to resource for principals looking to revamp their leadership approach and prioritize self-care. I’m Barb Flowers, a certified life coach with eight years of experience as an elementary principal. Tune in each week as we delve into strategies for boosting mental resilience, managing time effectively, and nurturing overall wellness.

From tackling daily challenges to maintaining a healthy work-life balance, we’ll navigate the complexities of school leadership together. Join me in fostering your sense of purpose as a principal and reigniting your passion for the job. Welcome to a podcast where your wellbeing is the top priority.

Welcome back to the podcast. Today, we’re going to be talking about the Sunday Scaries, also known as the [00:01:00] Sunday Blues or the Sunday Night Jitters.

Whatever you call it, it’s that feeling you get over the weekend—hopefully on Sunday, but sometimes people even start to experience this on Saturday—as they start thinking about going back to work. Really, what the Sunday Scaries are is just a form of anxiety.

As a teacher and as a principal, there were periods of time when I definitely had this feeling—the Sunday Scaries. There were also times when I didn’t. I was so excited to get to work. I had a lot to do, and I wanted to be there on Monday morning. So, we all have different experiences with this.

Sometimes it can be really hard coming back from a break—those long periods of being off work and having that freedom. Then all of a sudden, you have to go back to the structure of work, which can be tough. Some people love going back, and some people struggle. So, everybody’s a little bit different with this. Just know that the Sunday Scaries can be normal.

It depends on your personality and whether you get anxiety sometimes because, really, what the Sunday Scaries [00:02:00] are, is a form of anxiety. I want to normalize that if you are feeling this. It doesn’t have to mean you hate your job, that you’re burnt out, or that you’re overwhelmed. It could mean that, but it doesn’t have to.

I think one thing that happens with the Sunday Scaries is our brain starts to tell us stories about how hard the work is as a principal and how hard the week’s going to be. I’m not saying the work of a principal isn’t hard—it is—but our brain starts to really dramatize these stories. I know this from my own experience.

I’m not saying this with judgment for anybody, but it starts to gather evidence from all of the hard things we’ve faced in our role as a principal. For me, if I think about the span of a school year, there were hard situations, but not necessarily daily. But when I’m dreading going to work or thinking about how hard it’s going to be, suddenly I feel like I dealt with all those hard situations in one day.

Our brain is just trying to protect us, right? The primitive part of the brain goes to the negative to protect us. So we reinforce those negative thoughts because then we start thinking: It is hard. I had this situation happen, and that’s hard. I have to deal with this teacher, and that’s going to be hard. We tell ourselves how hard it’s going to be and develop anxiety about going to work.

I want to challenge you to think: what if you just didn’t entertain the Sunday Scaries? What if you acknowledged that you were having anxious thoughts about going back to work and just let them pass, instead of feeding into them or letting them mean something?

Over time, I’ve learned not to feel those negative thoughts because sometimes I have really negative thoughts, and other times I realize those are just thoughts. They’re not necessarily true. Sometimes I have thoughts that are fiction—a story I made up. So I like to ask myself, is that thought fact or fiction?

Our [00:04:00] lives are 50/50 good and bad. It’s just part of the human experience. It’s part of what we talk about in life coaching because we have to remember we’re not going to be happy all the time. We’re not going to have excitement all the time.

It’s great to have those positive feelings, but without the 50% of the bad things—like sadness, doubt, and fear—it’s hard to enjoy the 50% that’s good. That contrast helps us know what is good. We want to feel bad when something sad happens. We don’t want to feel happy all the time. Imagine if somebody felt happy all the time—you’d be like, what’s wrong with them?

It’s not meant to be like that as a human. We’re not meant to be happy all the time. So having a feeling of anxiety is completely normal. Anxiety is really just ruminating on the future.

If you start to feel anxious, you need to bring yourself back to the present. If it’s Saturday and you’re already getting those Sunday Scaries, thinking, “Oh, I don’t want to go [00:05:00] to work on Monday,” I want you to bring yourself back to the present. That’s something to focus on.

Remember, it really is just a form of anxiety. Anxiety comes from overwhelm and uncertainty. You could be feeling anxious or have the Sunday Scaries because you’re overwhelmed—it’s that time of year when there’s so much going on. Or it could be uncertainty. Our brain likes certainty, and we know as principals there is no certainty.

Every single day we deal with different situations. Sometimes, as a principal, I had the most boring days ever. Other days, they were not boring at all. There were things that happened I’d never dealt with before.

It’s the same with being a teacher—just education. You’re dealing with people, humans. There is uncertainty. We don’t know how others will act. We can’t control them. We can only control ourselves.

One thing I want you to think about is that you can bring the certainty. [00:06:00] What if you brought certainty to the week by believing you’re able to handle anything that comes your way? We’re going to talk more about that, but just think about it—you can be the person to bring that certainty.

Principals face a lot of difficult situations. When we take time to think about them and ruminate, they seem harder and harder.

It was funny—I was talking to a friend who is a middle school assistant principal. I told her, “Have a good day. I hope it’s a calm day,” because she was the only administrator there. Of course, she called me later and said, “It was not a calm day. There were drugs at school, this happened, that happened.” I just had to laugh because, of course, when you hope for a calm day, it never is.

But we talked about how you just handle it. In the moment, we’re not anxious. What do we do? What do we do in the moment? It’s almost like adrenaline takes over. You go into principal mode and handle the situation as best as you can.

No matter how hard it is, in the moment you usually don’t think, “Oh my gosh, I don’t know how to handle this.” Usually, you just take action.

If you’re brand new and don’t know how to handle it, that’s where you call someone who can help—someone who can give you tips or a coach who can work through these situations with you if you need help.

I think so often we forget that in those hard moments, we know what to do. Our instincts take over, and we just handle it.

As we ruminate and get anxious about what’s going to happen, just know you know exactly how to handle situations to the best of your ability.

I want to briefly remind you that principals impact school culture and atmosphere.

You want to make sure you’re not going into school Monday morning feeling, “I don’t want to be here. I hate Mondays.” I can’t tell you how many people I’d pass in the hallway on a Monday who just make conversation—they might not even mean it—but we say things like, “Is it Friday yet?” or “Why are Mondays so hard?”

We make up all these stories about Mondays and share them with each other. That just makes it harder.

As the leader, you need to be the optimistic one. Be ready to go, excited and enthusiastic for the week.

I’m not talking about toxic positivity where everything is perfect—I’m just saying bring positive energy.

If you go back to episode 67, I talk about leading with optimism. Go back and listen if you need help with that.

Don’t engage when people complain about it being Monday, or not wanting to be here, or wanting to be back in bed.

You have to set the tone for your school.

Now, I want to give you four practical strategies to help beat the Sunday Scaries.

Number one: Weekend preparation.

I used to do this all the time. I’d really set boundaries around my Sundays as much as I could so I had time to prepare for the week ahead.

If I didn’t have time on Sundays, I felt more [00:09:00] stressed out.

I would start by organizing my Monday schedule in advance. I like to know what I’m doing Monday.

On Friday at work, I’d make sure my desk was clean and organized and I was ready for Monday morning.

For me, I liked knowing what was coming Monday morning. On Sunday, I’d know if I had a meeting first thing, what time I needed to get to school, and I’d set myself up for success.

I also, and still do, write on a calendar on the refrigerator what events are happening that week.

I’d write what days I had to stay late after school, what days I’d be home on time, and know what the week would look like.

If it was a week with three late nights, I knew that. If it was a week where I’d get home by 4:30 every day, I knew that.

It just helped me mentally set myself up for success.

Really take the weekend to prepare.

Other things I liked to do on the weekend were prepping my food and picking out clothes for the week.

Meal prep was a non-negotiable for me.

I don’t like to cook when I get home from work, so I’d prep proteins and cut up vegetables for my family.

When I got home, even though I had time, I was usually too tired to cook.

That was a helpful strategy.

My second tip is to have Sunday evening routines.

We call it the Sunday Scaries because you start feeling anxious about Monday.

What if you created a calming evening routine?

What if you took time to read a book, meditate, or just allow yourself to be calm before work?

Instead of staying up till 10 o’clock, aim to get to bed early.

Set boundaries on work-related communications.

Don’t text everybody at work or check emails late.

Take that time for yourself as you prepare for the week.

This will help you feel calm, collected, and ready to go.

That feeling will help you approach the week better than if you’re sitting up late working and then wake up stressed.

Set yourself up for success and plan ahead.

Create a calming evening routine that fits you.

For me, I like watching shows with my husband at night.

Just take time to find calmness, peace, and time for yourself.

My third tip is to have a Monday morning success plan.

You want to set Mondays up for success.

As a mom, some mornings I was running out the door, hurrying to work, grabbing my stuff—it felt chaotic.

That’s never how I wanted to start my week.

Things happen in the morning, but especially Monday mornings, I wanted to start with success.

I tried to get to work a few minutes early.

I tried to have quiet time in my office.

I tried to set priorities for how I’d start my Monday.

I didn’t want to run in stressed and anxious thinking about all the things I had to do.

Instead, if I went in knowing I had time and with a peaceful state of mind, I felt better.

Make sure you set yourself up for success, like I said with weekend prep.

Also, make sure your office is ready for you on Monday morning.

Coming in to a clean office with your calendar out and ready to go is really helpful.

Checking email and your calendar sets you up for success.

That was really helpful for me.

My fourth tip is positive affirmations.

One thing I teach my clients—and I’ve talked about it on the podcast before—is that your thoughts create your emotions, and your emotions create your actions.

If you go into work with a negative thought—“I’m anxious about the upcoming week,” “I don’t know what to think”—you’ll have emotions of uncertainty, doubt, and negativity.

Those negative emotions drive negative actions.

So we want to rewire those negative thoughts into positive thoughts through intentional thought work and repetition.

Intentional thought work means being intentional about the thoughts you choose.

Choose the thought and practice it over and over.

If you have the negative thought, first be aware of what it is.

If you think, “I’m anxious about the upcoming week,” a positive thought could be, “I trust my ability to handle whatever comes my way.”

Sometimes, you might not be ready to think positive thoughts.

That’s okay.

I call it a thought ladder, but we’ll say a neutral thought.

Instead of a negative thought, try a neutral one: “Mondays are just another day on the calendar. Each week has ups and downs, and this one will pass like any other.”

It’s not positive or negative—just neutral.

Be intentional about your thinking and aware of what you’re thinking.

If you notice anxiety or Sunday Scaries, go back and ask yourself: What thought is causing that emotion?

Write it down.

Is it “I’m anxious about the week”? Or “I’m overwhelmed”?

We often have negative thoughts because there’s uncertainty around the week.

We create a story in our minds that it might go badly.

We dramatize what might happen.

I invite you to think: What if you could create thoughts that help you feel certainty?

What if you could create thoughts that help you feel certain about your leadership and how you’ll lead your people this week?

Today, I want to give you five positive affirmations to create certainty about your leadership and the week ahead:

1. My calm and confident leadership creates a welcoming space for students and staff.

If you don’t feel calm as a leader, start telling yourself you are, and start acting that way. Be calm and confident.

2. Each new week is a chance to grow, learn, and make our school better than before.

3. I have the energy, wisdom, and capability to navigate this week successfully.

4. Today, I choose to focus on progress over perfection as I lead my school community.

5. I’m ready to embrace the challenges and celebrate the victories that await me this week.

And my last one: My presence makes a positive difference in my school, and I’m grateful for another week to serve.

These thoughts, chosen intentionally, can help you enter the week with more certainty and less anxiety.

I also want to challenge you: If you struggle to think these positive thoughts, what negative thoughts are you having?

You have to be aware of them.

One thing I do with clients is an assessment to identify saboteurs sabotaging their success.

Once you identify them, you can stop the saboteurs and start thinking positive thoughts.

If you struggle with negative thoughts or saboteurs—those judges telling you you’re not good enough, not perfect, or not doing it right—you need to schedule a free consultation with me. Don’t wait.

It’s completely free.

Schedule a consultation, and we’ll talk about how I can help you get rid of those negative thoughts so you can lead your best.

Once you do, your performance, wellbeing, and relationships with staff, students, parents, and family will improve. It improves everything.

If you don’t know what your saboteurs are, reach out and schedule your free consultation.

To summarize the key strategies to stop or reduce the Sunday Scaries:

• Prepare on the weekends for the week ahead.

• Create a Sunday evening routine.

• Create a Monday morning success plan.

• Use positive affirmations.

I hope you try these strategies out.

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Remember, you have the power to shape your life through the mindset you choose.

I hope you have a great week, and I’ll see you back here next time.