Welcome back to the podcast. Today, we’re talking about how your role as a principal might feel unsustainable. And if that is happening, it probably [00:01:00] is unsustainable.

If you are feeling like it’s not sustainable, it probably is not. As principals, so often I hear people doing so many things all the time that are not sustainable for leadership long term. And so that’s what we’re talking about today. I’m not talking about seasons of leadership. I do think there are seasons of leadership—different times in the school year that are definitely more difficult than others and require longer hours than others.

But I’m talking about when you are having 60-hour work weeks for most of your weeks. The majority of the time you’re working is, you know, 50 to 60 hours a week. You’re always working. You’re always thinking about work. And you think, how long can I do this? Okay, so we’re going to be talking about that today.

I wanted to start by saying every leadership role is very different. Every principal, assistant principal role, any job in leadership that you have can look different district to district. [00:02:00] I was in a district with two elementary schools, and our jobs as elementary principals looked different.

Our buildings were very different. Our teacher dynamics were different. The communities were different. And this was all within the same school district, right? We had varying numbers of students, different levels of support because of the numbers of students, different behaviors.

It was really interesting to see that just within the same community, all the differences that happened between those two elementaries. And I think that that is such a good reminder that no principals are alike. If you go to a principal’s meeting—which, you know, as a principal, I always made sure to attend principals meetings with local principals so I could get ideas—you’re going to see that everybody’s job is different.

Sure, you have similar challenges and similar things you face that you can support each other with. And I’ll talk about that because I think that’s really important. But I also think it’s important to know that your role can look so different, and what is sustainable for you might not be for somebody else and vice versa.

So all things [00:03:00] to think about. I think these are things to consider when you’re determining if you’re in the right role as well, because every district is different.

It depends on how many resources they have, how much support, school size, demographics, the staff experience that you have in your building.

If you’re leading a building of new teachers, that’s going to be very different than if you have veteran teachers with more experience. Community expectations play a huge part in your role, like how much parents are involved in contacting you.

And then again, how much available support staff do you have?

When I was first a principal, we just had an assistant principal, and then eventually we got a counselor, a behavior specialist, you know, different roles that we didn’t have at first. It changed what that job looked like. It helped dramatically.

So just knowing all of that—that the different types of supports you have available in your district make a huge difference too.

As we talk today, I [00:04:00] want you to know that every job is different. So you really have to evaluate this against your own experiences in your district and what you’re currently going through.

I’ve really become passionate about this topic of sustainable leadership, and I recently released a course about it because I’ve been talking to so many principals, and the job really can be, honestly, unsustainable if we make it that way.

Sometimes it’s designed that way by the school district, and we have to know that and advocate for ourselves.

Talking to so many principals has brought this to the forefront for me—how many principals are working so hard, and it’s just not realistic. Not that you shouldn’t work hard, but I was talking to an assistant principal who has a lot of teachers to evaluate.

She’s spending four hours on one evaluation. Okay. You might relate to that. You might say, I spend four hours on one evaluation too.

The argument there is—and I will say talking to her—she gives amazing feedback to teachers. She’s so good at evaluation. She’s so good at instruction.

But what I want you to consider is: can you do four-hour evaluations if you have 30 teachers to observe more than once?

That’s not sustainable. That’s not practical. You can’t really do that in practice.

So just thinking about that—we want to do our jobs to the best of our abilities. I think that’s important. We should all take pride in our work and want to do a really good job.

However, what is actually practical that you can do in your role?

Can you spend four hours on each evaluation? Probably not, because you have other things you need to be doing. There’s no way you could spend four hours in a school day.

Do you have time to spend four hours on a weekend per teacher for evaluation?

So just thinking about that, that’s kind of setting the context that really leads to burnout and just you not being able to [00:06:00] sustain the job.

I will say too, as a newer principal, these evaluations might take you longer. And as you get better and more familiar, the time gets shorter.

But these are things to think about as we talk today.

I want to talk about a couple of self-imposed challenges I see that people do that really make the role unsustainable.

It’s not practical. It’s not going to make your life easier as a principal.

The first one I see is perfectionism.

We set unrealistic standards for ourselves.

We think nothing we do is good enough. We think everything that needs to go out has to be perfect—for parents, for teachers, for everybody.

What that does is it really impacts everything you put out.

A lot of people with perfectionism actually avoid doing things because they know it’s going to be such a burden.

They’re beating themselves up, criticizing themselves as they do the task because it has to be perfect.

That’s not even a realistic standard.

I’ve heard perfectionism talked about as no standard at all. I think that makes so much sense because if you’re setting such a high standard you can never reach, then it really is like no standard at all.

It impacts everything you do. It impacts the decisions you make.

As a principal, you have to make decisions quickly all the time.

We have decisions coming at us constantly.

You just have to be able to make a decision, feel confident in it, and move on.

If you’re a perfectionist, that makes it really hard to just make a decision and move on.

Perfectionism can steal so much of your time and mental energy, which makes you really tired.

Being a principal obviously isn’t physically demanding, but it is so mentally demanding—and that can be just as tiring.

I always compare with my husband, who has a more physically demanding job.

I would be so tired, and I’d say, “It’s not because I was physically working today—it’s the mental energy that comes from all the decisions we make and things we have to do all day.”

If you’re setting unrealistic standards and wanting everything perfect, it’s not going to go well for you.

That’s a common pattern I see.

The other thing I see, kind of related to perfectionism, is poor delegation.

If you want everything perfect or done a certain way, you usually struggle to delegate.

You don’t trust that others can do it as well as you, or sometimes I hear, “I can do it faster myself,” which I’m guilty of too.

What happens then is you’re not empowering others or helping them grow as leaders.

You’re not helping people build capacity.

I struggled a lot with this as a new principal because my principal delegated to me a lot, which was great but a lot on my plate as a teacher.

Sometimes I took that into my role as a principal, thinking I didn’t want to put too much on others’ plates.

But over time I learned teachers like to feel empowered.

They want to be part of things.

If they have a strength you don’t, you need to delegate.

Same with secretaries—delegate to your secretary.

Sometimes people struggle with that.

You have to utilize those people to help you.

You don’t have time to do everything.

Find people who have strengths you don’t and delegate.

Another pattern that’s unsustainable is overcommitment.

People find it difficult to say no.

That was my struggle—overcommitment.

I’m a people pleaser.

I like to do all the things.

I get excited about work and want to be on every committee and do everything.

The problem is, you can’t do everything and still have a personal life.

You have to have time for yourself.

If you say yes to everything, you take away time for you and your family.

Think about your priorities and where you’re overcommitting.

When you overcommit, like me, you might get frustrated you said yes.

Then you’re unhappy when you’re there.

You might even be mad you made the commitment and take it out on others.

Don’t overcommit because it’s not good for anyone.

You’re not helping others or yourself.

In the long run, you need time to decompress and relax.

Certain districts have things you have to do.

I’m talking about extra things you choose.

I was really part of the principal organization in Ohio.

I do mentoring for principals and other things I like.

But sometimes that can be overcommitment because I get excited and want to keep growing.

It can add responsibilities outside your main role that make it hard.

You have to balance that for yourself.

Another unsustainable pattern is neglecting self-care.

I’ve seen this with new principals.

I’ve talked to many principals who gain 10 to 15 pounds in their first year.

That comes from putting 100% into work and forgetting their self-care.

That’s not something you want to do.

You want to take care of yourself because when you do, you’re better for others.

We forget that.

High-level CEOs and successful people put self-care first.

They exercise daily, do mindset work, and lots of personal development.

As principals—and teachers too—we put others first and ourselves last.

That’s not helping anyone.

As school leaders, we can’t neglect self-care.

We have to focus on ourselves to be better for others.

Make sure you eat breakfast and lunch.

So often I hear people say, “I don’t have time for lunch.”

I don’t like skipping meals.

I always made time for lunch.

Some days are crazy, but day to day, I always made time.

Make sure you get enough sleep.

Sleep is so important.

I have other podcast episodes on that topic in the show notes.

Sleep helps memory and cognitive function.

If you go to work without enough sleep, you won’t be your best.

Make sure you have time with family, friends, your spouse.

If your family life is off, your work life will be too.

Make time for family and work.

Also, focus on physical and mental health.

Get movement and exercise.

Take time for yourself.

I exercise every morning.

It might be walking on a treadmill or strength training.

I work out at home because I have two little kids who are sleeping, so I do it in my basement.

Whatever that looks like for you, take care of your physical health.

Also your mental health.

This is where coaching, journaling, and meditation come in.

If you don’t prioritize those, you won’t be better for others.

Some things I want you to think about to assess if your leadership style is sustainable:

How many hours per week do you work outside school?

I recommended to a principal working too much outside school to track her hours and what she was doing.

This could be another person’s job—you need to communicate that.

If you just do it without talking to people and letting them know how much time you’re spending, nothing will change.

When was the last time you took a full weekend off and truly disconnected?

I see many people miss so much because they can’t disconnect.

I have a checklist in the show notes that helps principals disconnect.

You need to truly disconnect on weekends and evenings.

There’s a stress cycle—we’re in it all week.

Our bodies go into fight or flight.

We have to get out of the cycle.

We must calm our nervous system, regulate ourselves, and get back to feeling safe and less stressed.

Otherwise, there are many negative health impacts.

So take that time on weekends and evenings.

How often do you miss family events?

Are you missing kids’ events or relatives’ events because you’re working all the time?

I find myself guilty of that sometimes even now.

I might want to stay home and work on a project, but I always prioritize my kids’ events.

Think about your quality of life.

How has your health been affected?

Did you used to be healthier, working out and eating well?

What activities have you given up?

Maybe you used to play adult sports, like my husband who loves soccer and baseball (which I don’t like).

Have you decided you don’t have time for those things now that you’re a principal?

What activities have you given up that impact your health and overall quality of life?

How has your relationship with your family changed?

I had to check in with my husband a lot.

I was a different person in summer than during the school year.

I had to ask myself, how am I treating my family when I get home?

I was so stressed during the day—was I taking that out on them?

Especially having kids the same age as the kids I worked with.

Sometimes I put pressure on my own kids because of behavior issues I saw at school.

I was harder on them when I got home.

Ask yourself, are you still finding joy in your work?

Do you love what you’re doing?

If you work a lot, it makes a huge difference if you love your work.

Can you sustain that pace for another year?

Look at where you spend your time.

Can you continue that?

What would your ideal work-life balance look like?

I just wanted to share some common traps I see with people creating leadership practices that aren’t sustainable.

Take this time, go through these reflection questions, and think about whether your leadership is sustainable.

If it’s unsustainable, set practices to help it become more sustainable.

Think about what areas you need to readjust.

Remember, sustainable leadership is effective leadership.

I hear often that there can’t be work-life balance and good, effective leadership where you’re making changes.

I argue yes, there can.

It’s not one or the other.

The more you take care of yourself, disconnect, and model that for staff, the better you’ll be for your staff.

Make sure you’re assessing your current situation and making necessary changes before burnout occurs and you decide you can’t do it anymore and have to leave your position.

Also, I just released my course The Sustainable Principal.

I put the link in the show notes.

I encourage you to go to barbflowers.com/courses to check it out.

I have so many systems there to help principals make the job more sustainable, manageable, and let you live your life where you can enjoy work and be fully present at work and enjoy your personal life too.

So often, we let that go to the wayside.

If you love the show and you’re listening on Apple, scroll down in your app and leave a review.

Keep in mind, you have the power to shape your life according to the mindset you choose.

I hope you have a great week, and I’ll see you back here next time.