Shifting Your Perspective as a Principal
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In today’s episode, I want to talk about how to change your perspective on different situations. That’s all coming up next, right here on The Principal’s Handbook.
Welcome to The Principal’s Handbook, your go-to resource for principals looking to revamp their leadership approach and prioritize self-care. I’m Barb Flowers, a certified life coach with eight years of experience as an elementary principal. Tune in each week as we delve into strategies for boosting mental resilience, managing time effectively, and nurturing overall wellness.
From tackling daily challenges to maintaining a healthy work-life balance, we’ll navigate the complexities of school leadership together. Join me in fostering your sense of purpose as a principal and reigniting your passion for the job. Welcome to a podcast where your wellbeing is the top priority.
Welcome back to the podcast. Today we’re going to be talking about how to shift your perspective on different situations. I think this is such a great topic when it comes to coaching because changing your perspective to navigate challenges really does enhance your leadership.
As a principal, I did a podcast episode on Leading With Optimism, which was one of my highest listened-to episodes because people really liked how you can lead with optimism through positive leadership.
That got me thinking a lot about something I talk to many clients about: perspective shifting—how to shift your own perspective and how to coach teachers on shifting theirs. This helps teachers, students, parents, and even the circumstances you’re dealing with.
There are a lot of demands as a principal. The role can be overwhelming, filled with emotions, conflicts, and burnout. I always share that you have to find things that bring you joy and energize you. That’s the only way you’ll sustain this role.
If everything you do are jobs you don’t enjoy, you won’t last as a principal. But if you find what you do enjoy and really focus on it, it can help make the role more sustainable and prevent burnout.
But another thing you can do is shift your perspective on certain situations.
So what is a perspective shift, and why does it matter in leadership?
Our mindset is so important. It shapes how we respond to stress and challenges. One thing I coach on is that our thoughts create our emotions and actions.
If we have negative thoughts, they create negative emotions and actions. If you can shift your perspective—turn a thought into a more positive one—you’ll have more positive emotions and actions.
It’s really about questioning the stories we tell ourselves because we all tell ourselves stories.
One story I told myself as a principal was, This job is so hard. And I’m not saying it’s not difficult, but the more I told myself it was so hard, the harder it felt. That was my perspective.
You hear it all the time: Oh, I wouldn’t want your job. But they don’t see all the good things.
We have to shift those stories we tell ourselves.
One thing I miss after leaving the principalship is the busyness of the job. I love jobs where I’m busy, where I have to think quickly, that challenge me and help me grow.
We can see busyness as negative—There’s so much to do, so many quick decisions. But what if it challenges you and makes you grow? What if it makes you a better leader every day?
Thinking differently and questioning the stories we tell ourselves is key.
Our thoughts become our story—This is too hard, I’m not good at my job, these teachers don’t care, parents don’t care.
These are just stories.
To be a true leader who influences others, we want a growth mindset and the ability to shift our perspective to lead positively.
A simple mindset shift impacts your emotional wellbeing, relationships with staff, parents, and school leaders, and helps you lead more effectively.
Two people who have helped me with perspective shifting are Byron Katie and Jon Acuff.
Byron Katie is a life coach with a book called Loving What Is, a great coaching book I highly recommend.
She developed a simple, powerful method for shifting perspective when overwhelmed or stuck in negative thinking.
Her four questions are:
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Is the thought true?
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Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
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How do you react and what happens when you believe that thought?
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Who would you be without that thought?
These questions are powerful to consider.
For example, if you think leadership is so hard, who would you be without that thought? A happier, more effective leader? Maybe you’d see leadership as easier?
Here’s a practical example:
Say you feel overwhelmed with the thought, I’ll never be able to handle all these emotional teacher issues.
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Is it true? Maybe not, because you kind of have to handle them.
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Can you absolutely know it’s true? No, some teachers respond better and you can handle some situations.
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How do you react when you believe that thought? You likely feel overwhelmed, stressed, maybe disconnected from teachers.
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Who would you be without that thought? Someone more confident in managing and guiding teachers’ emotions, feeling more connected.
You can shift your perspective from victim to taking back control.
Remind yourself, I absolutely can handle these emotional teacher issues.
Flip the thought: I will be able to handle these issues, or I can handle some of them.
Jon Acuff’s book Soundtracks: The Surprising Solution to Overthinking is another great resource.
He describes “soundtracks” as repetitive thoughts dictating how we approach challenges—a broken record that keeps us stuck in overthinking and inaction.
Example soundtrack: I’ll never get these behaviors under control, kids will always come to my office.
This fuels frustration and failure.
His strategy is to create a new perspective—a new soundtrack to replace it.
For example: I’ve successfully reduced behaviors before and I can do it again.
Changing the soundtrack helps shift from defeat to capability, since thoughts create emotions which drive actions.
I want you to consider your own limiting thoughts—the stories running through your mind that make you feel “not enough” or ineffective.
What can you do to change that soundtrack to shift your perspective?
Another powerful tool is activating empathy.
I come from early childhood education, where empathy is foundational.
Principals can get stuck in their own perspective and emotions, but if you switch to empathy for others’ situations, it helps shift your viewpoint.
For example, with a struggling teacher, instead of thinking, Why can’t they just get it together?, activate empathy: What might be going on in their life or classroom? What supports do they need?
Getting curious with empathy helps you connect better, build relationship, and find root causes rather than staying stuck in frustration.
Also, remember to have empathy for yourself.
We’re often our own harshest critics, telling ourselves I should have done better, I’m not doing enough.
These self-critical stories fuel burnout.
Instead, shift to self-empathy: I’m doing the best I can in a challenging job. How can I be kinder to myself?
I often remind principals: You make the best decision you can in the moment, and if you don’t like it later, you do your best to fix it.
Let’s look at some common challenges principals face and how to shift perspective:
Teachers’ emotions:
Teachers bring their emotions to work, which can feel draining.
I coach principals to see teacher emotions as opportunities to support and develop emotional intelligence in staff.
Use coaching skills to guide them emotionally.
Remember, you must set emotional boundaries—you’re not responsible for others’ emotions, only your response.
Model calm, positive emotional management.
Angry parents:
Parents can be upset and emotional when they come to your office.
It’s easy to think, This parent is crazy or hates me.
Shift to seeing parents as partners, not adversaries.
My superintendent once told me, Parents aren’t always logical when it comes to their kids. That helped me listen and validate concerns before responding, often de-escalating the situation.
Set clear boundaries: if a parent is yelling, don’t continue the conversation—reschedule when calmer.
Use proactive communication—call parents before they call you to minimize surprises.
Discipline:
I used to get frustrated thinking, Come on, kids, get it together. Teachers, stop sending kids to the office.
Then a principal friend and I laughed about a situation with a fourth grader and I realized—kids do dumb things because they’re kids learning.
Shift your mindset: I’m helping them learn through these situations.
Kids make mistakes, just like adults.
Have proactive systems and supports in place like PBIS.
When behavior happens, remind yourself you’re working with kids who aren’t always rational.
If you’re feeling burnt out and questioning if being a principal is right for you, I want to say:
Going back and forth on this makes it harder.
You need to decide—Is this the right place or role for me?
If not, it’s okay to look for another job or path.
Too often we stay out of people-pleasing rather than what’s right for us.
If you decide to stay, shift your perspective to I get to lead this building. I get to make a difference.
Reflect on your why and the fulfilling parts of the job.
Practical tool:
Journal your negative thoughts and practice shifting them.
Become aware of the stories you tell yourself.
Write down those thoughts and create reframes or affirmations.
For example: Parents aren’t always rational when it comes to their kids. Or I get to make a difference today.
Use affirmations to shift your mindset just like you might with time management.
So think today: What are your negative thoughts? What stories are holding you back? Where can you shift your perspective?
I hope you found this helpful. I’d love to hear about your perspective shifts.
Email me at barb@barbflowerscoaching.com or find me on Instagram at Dr. Barb Flowers.
If you love the show, please leave a review in your podcast app—that’s how other principals find the show.
Keep in mind, you have the power to shape your life according to the mindset you choose.
I hope you have a great week, and I’ll see you back here next time.
