Three Mindset Shifts for Working with Challenging Teachers

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Well, welcome everyone to The Principal’s Handbook. In today’s episode, we’re talking about three mindset shifts for working with challenging teachers. That’s all coming up next on The Principal’s Handbook.

Introduction

Welcome to The Principal’s Handbook, your go-to resource for principals looking to revamp their leadership approach and prioritize self-care. I’m Barb Flowers, a certified life coach with eight years of experience as an elementary principal.

Tune in each week as we delve into strategies for boosting mental resilience, managing time effectively, and nurturing overall wellness. From tackling daily challenges to maintaining a healthy work-life balance, we’ll navigate the complexities of school leadership together.

This is a podcast where your wellbeing is the top priority.

Setting the Stage

Welcome to the episode—I’m so happy you’re here today!

We’re going to be talking about three powerful mindset shifts that can change how you navigate tough staff dynamics. We’ve all worked with teachers who come across as challenging:

• resistance to an initiative

• constant pushback

• disengagement

• or even burnout.

What I share today comes straight from my free Quick Guide on Navigating Challenging Staff Dynamics. Make sure you download that after listening—it’s completely free and includes six mindset shifts (I’ll share three of them here).

The Challenge: Adult Dynamics in Schools

As principals, working with adults can be even harder than working with students.

• You need to earn respect while keeping collaboration strong.

• Difficult conversations must happen without damaging relationships.

• You’re always balancing feedback with trust.

It’s frustrating when:

• you provide resources, yet still face pushback,

• you’re a people pleaser who struggles when others are unhappy,

• or you expect appreciation that doesn’t come.

Common Pitfalls Principals Face

Some traps I’ve personally experienced include:

1. Taking things personally.
   A negative comment can feel like an attack.

2. Avoiding tough conversations.
   You rationalize why they’re not necessary.

3. Judging too quickly.
   Labeling without understanding the full story.

4. Being inconsistent.
   Which fuels more resistance and challenges.

The Three Traps (and How to Reframe Them)

1. Taking Things Personally → Lead with Curiosity

Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with them?” ask:

• “What might be going on underneath this behavior?”

An eye roll might actually come from burnout, stress at home, or past frustrations that have nothing to do with you.

Tip: Before assuming the worst, pause and ask:

• What might be driving this reaction?

• What don’t I know yet?

2. Labeling Someone as “Negative” → See the Behavior, Not the Person

A negative pattern is not their whole identity.

Just like with students, you must look for the why behind behavior. Labels like “the difficult teacher” become filters that blind us to the positive things they bring.

Tip: Ask yourself—

• What positive things do I know about this person?

• When have I seen them support kids or colleagues?

By intentionally noticing strengths, you keep perspective grounded and lead with compassion.

3. Avoiding Them Completely → Spend More Time, Not Less

Challenging behaviors often come from fear, burnout, or past harm.

Instead of pulling away, lean in:

• Visit their classroom.

• Chat in the hallway.

• Ask for their ideas and opinions.

It’s counterintuitive, but spending more time often softens resistance better than any policy or mandate.

Extra Insight: Insecurity Behind Confidence

Sometimes teachers who seem “entitled” or overly confident are actually insecure. They may need more positive reinforcement from you.

This is why relationships are key. The more you know a teacher as a whole person, the easier it is to navigate challenging dynamics.

A Practical Tool: Byron Katie’s Four Questions

When you catch yourself having a negative thought about a teacher, ask:

1. Is it true?

2. Can I absolutely know it’s true?

3. How do I react when I believe that thought?

4. Who would I be without that thought?

Then, turn the thought around to find a different perspective.

Remember: Thoughts are not facts—they create your emotions and actions.

Your Challenge This Week

Pick one mindset shift to practice in your next tough interaction:

• Be more curious.

• Stop labeling.

• Spend more time with the teacher you’ve been avoiding.

Notice what changes in your leadership when you shift your mindset.

Closing

I’d love to hear from you!

• Email me at barb@barbflowerscoaching.com and let me know what shifts you tried.

• Download the Quick Guide to Navigating Challenging Teacher Dynamics (linked in the show notes).

Remember: it’s normal for this to feel difficult. You don’t have to lead alone—I’m here through the podcast and coaching support.

Schedule a free coaching consultation at barbflowerscoaching.com if you’d like to go deeper.

Thanks for joining me today, and I’ll see you next time!