Welcome to The Principal’s Handbook, your go-to resource for principals looking to revamp their leadership approach and prioritize self-care. I’m Barb Flowers, a certified life coach with eight years of experience as an elementary principal. Tune in each week as we delve into strategies for boosting mental resilience, managing time effectively, and nurturing overall wellness.

From tackling daily challenges to maintaining a healthy work-life balance, I’m Barb Flowers. We’ll navigate the complexities of school leadership together. Join me in fostering your sense of purpose as a principal and reigniting your passion for the job. Welcome to a podcast where your wellbeing is the top priority.

Well, welcome everyone to The Principal’s Handbook. I’m excited because today we have Stephanie Duguid with us. She has over 30 years of experience as both a K-12 and post-secondary instructor and administrator. She has helped hundreds of women educators enhance their self-confidence, grow professionally, and develop and motivate dynamic, positive leaders to reach their leadership goals.

I’m so excited, Stephanie, to have you on the podcast today for our conversation.

Thank you so much, Barb. I’m very excited to be here. Today we’re really going to be talking about confident leadership. I have some questions for you focusing on confidence.

So to start, in your experience, what is the difference between confidence and competence in leadership? And how can leaders develop both authentically?

[00:02:00]
That’s a great question because a lot of people think it’s the same thing, but it really isn’t. You can be a competent leader—good or bad—which means you can lead people to meet their goals, meet deadlines, and complete tasks according to policies and procedures.

But to be a confident leader is really moving from being self-serving to selfless. It means being confident in yourself and your decisions, while doing everything for the organization, institution, school, and students.

It’s about where your mind and heart are when you act on your leadership skills.

I love that—say that again: you go from self-serving to selfless.

Yes. When we talk about self-serving, some people get into leadership for the title or to be over people to tell them what to do, or to serve their own personal agendas.

Whereas if you’re selfless, you’re there to support students and teachers. It’s not about you. You don’t have to be at the forefront; it’s about how you encourage, develop, and enhance those you work with to take the next step on their positive journey.

I love really differentiating the two. That’s so key in education.

It’s really important to be that selfless leader focused on your staff and students because at the end of the day, it isn’t about you.

And the crazy thing is most leaders don’t realize that those around them know exactly what kind of leader they are.

It’s so important to make that shift.

I always talk about leadership like a manual transmission—where you control the gears, know when to shift up to speed up, take the wheel, or shift down to pause and address an issue.

Whereas an automatic transmission leader lets the car do all the work and just rides along.

I encourage leaders to shift their mindset to focus on turning obstacles into opportunities, which empowers those they work with.

[00:04:00]
That’s great. Can you share a pivotal moment in your leadership journey when you had to rebuild your confidence or realized it was low after a setback?

My leadership journey has been diverse. I started in athletic training, overseeing all women’s sports at a university.

I’ve been a high school teacher, high school assistant principal, college administrator, assistant dean of career tech, assistant dean of academics, and dean.

When I stepped into my first dean position, the faculty lacked direction.

I had a new person in a department facing challenges with coworkers, and I had some of those challenges too. As the leader, they looked to me.

I began having one-on-one conversations—not with any agenda, just time to say, “It’s just the two of us. No meetings. No agendas. What would you like to bring to me so we can work through it?”

That shifted relationships from top-down to partnership.

Instead of telling her what to do, we had conversations where she thought through her process and came up with her own answers, and I supported her.

We continued this with all division chairs and departments.

The growth in those individuals as leaders—and the support I gained from them as their dean—was incredible.

We became a community working together for the same goal.

When I stepped in, I took on all the previous leader’s baggage and had to navigate that.

Taking time for those one-on-one conversations was key.

You’re so busy, but you have to make that time—it made all the difference.

[00:07:00]
That’s great—building relationships and improving culture. It’s hard coming out from someone else’s leadership and expectations.

That leads into my next question: a lot of leaders struggle with imposter syndrome, especially in new roles.

I think of myself at 28 as a young assistant principal, then principal two years later.

I remember feeling, “Am I old enough? Experienced enough to be here?”

What practical strategies do you suggest to help leaders overcome self-doubt and imposter syndrome?

Some self-doubt comes from confidence.

For me, I went from faculty to supervisor of those I worked with—a huge shift.

You start questioning, “Why am I here? Do I belong?”

You have to look back at your personal wins.

Especially women don’t give themselves credit for accomplishments.

We say, “Oh, that was nothing,” even if we have degrees or experiences.

I encourage folks to write a list of amazing things they’ve done.

It doesn’t have to be huge—could be small wins like getting kids to school on time or not hitting snooze.

Go back as far as you can, and then read it out loud as if it’s someone else’s list, showing excitement.

When you realize it’s you, you think, “Wow, I do deserve to be here and can make a difference.”

Often new leaders try to take on or change too much too fast.

I encourage starting small.

Achieve one goal, then another.

Taking baby steps builds confidence.

Also, use positive affirmations and give yourself a high five in the mirror, as Mel Robbins suggests.

If you don’t support yourself, who will?

Do things that bring positivity in the morning to set your day.

You’ll see a world of difference.

[00:11:00]
I like encouraging leaders to focus on strengths.

I once did this activity with teachers, and they struggled to find positives about their day or themselves.

It happens so often—we just don’t give ourselves credit.

I had a meeting with division chairs after a long semester, post-COVID.

They were tired and defeated.

I gave them paper plates with strings to wear as necklaces.

They wrote positive comments about each person on the plates.

When we read them aloud, people cried.

They didn’t realize the impact they had or how others felt about them.

Even a year later, I still saw those plates on walls.

It’s not all work and policies—we have to remember the people.

[00:13:00]
I love bringing out what people contribute because it’s easy to take things for granted.

How do you balance projecting confidence while still being approachable and creating psychological safety for your team to share concerns?

That balance is key.

Some are overconfident and come across as “my way or the highway,” which is dictatorship, not leadership.

Leadership isn’t just a title—it’s action and leading with your heart as a servant leader.

If you see trash on the ground, do you pick it up or walk by?

Be the leader you want people to see.

Balancing confidence and approachability means understanding policies but also the human side.

Sometimes things aren’t black and white, so be open to talk through situations.

Consistency is important—people rely on you to follow rules but also to explain exceptions.

Support your team by talking through challenges.

If someone comes with a minor, unreasonable request, have a conversation about why it may not warrant a specific response.

If they come prepared with the issue clearly stated, respond with confidence and consistency.

Psychological safety comes from how you communicate.

Your personality shapes your communication style.

If you don’t understand your style and others’, communication will be harder.

[00:16:00]
Using DISC or similar assessments helps understand yourself and how to adapt with different personalities.

For example, a dominant “lion” communicating with a social “golden retriever” requires different approaches than two lions talking.

Being open and honest with feedback about your communication makes a big difference.

Is your door open or closed? Do you make time for individuals? Are you welcoming or dismissive?

How you respond determines if people will come back.

Do you walk around without an agenda? Do you notice body language and how people react to your presence?

All those things add up.

Being open to positive and negative feedback is challenging but necessary.

[00:18:00]
I once did a survey and the results challenged my own perspective.

Reflection and willingness to change are key.

In communication workshops, most people’s self-perception matches results, but some are surprised how they come across.

Recognizing this is an eye-opener that enables change.

[00:19:00]
Observe if people come to your office or avoid it.

In my building, staff came often, which was good and bad, but showed comfort.

Sometimes people feel they’re “in trouble” when in the principal’s office.

I made a point to have serious conversations behind my desk, but informal ones at a side table, which lowered guards.

Where you sit matters.

[00:20:00]
You mentioned confidence and consistency.

Confident leaders are consistent, trust their judgment, and don’t doubt themselves.

I’ve worked for leaders who were unpredictable—sometimes harsh, other days friendly—which is challenging.

Being consistent daily is huge.

Everyone has life outside work, but it’s about being present and following through without taking frustrations out on others.

I was known for smiling and checking in with folks.

Once, a teacher had a rough day due to an unfair parent complaint.

I brought her favorite treats and said, “If you need to talk, you know where I am.”

She was touched and later shared that story publicly as an example of leadership that cares.

Getting to know your people and being consistent in actions and attitude is vital.

[00:23:00]
What’s your perspective on vulnerability and confident leadership?

How much should leaders share challenges or uncertainties without undermining team trust?

It’s a delicate balance.

Remember there are other leaders who’ve gone through similar experiences.

One podcast guest has a “fictitious board of directors”—trusted people in various industries who give feedback.

Having coffee with them helps validate experiences without risking workplace confidentiality or gossip.

Leadership can be lonely—there are things you can’t share due to confidentiality or chain of command.

Keeping everything inside can make decisions harder.

Reaching out to trusted outsiders or private groups can offer perspective and guidance.

If vulnerability is big, find your own “tribe” or board for support.

My husband and I worked at the same institution and were confidants for each other.

It’s okay not to know solutions immediately.

Ask for time to think or research before responding.

Pausing often de-escalates situations.

[00:27:00]
You might say, “What would you do in my shoes?” and get honest feedback.

Sometimes others suggest harsher responses than you would.

Be careful how you phrase vulnerability—not “I don’t know what I’m doing,” or negative talk about colleagues.

But being a bit vulnerable shows your humanity.

If you have kids and need to leave for a family event, that vulnerability models putting family first.

That helps build a culture where family is valued.

If your supervisor doesn’t support that, you must set boundaries.

Be cautious what you share and with whom because of legal and confidentiality issues.

But having outside trusted people to talk to is invaluable.

[00:29:00]
I agree—monthly principal groups or talking to other principals is helpful.

Networking at conferences can connect you with unbiased colleagues in similar situations.

Sometimes you want district input; other times an outside perspective.

Having multiple support sources is key.

[00:30:00]
Thank you so much for being here, Stephanie.

Where can listeners find you and learn more?

I’d love to! Thank you for having me.

I have a podcast called Empowering Women in Educational Leadership.

All information and my mentorship program can be found at www.drstephanieduguid.com.

I speak nationally, so please reach out.

Even if you just want to connect or have a conversation, we can jump on Zoom and talk about whatever you want.

Thank you, Stephanie!