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In today’s episode, I’m sharing how you can stop doubting your decisions as a principal. That’s all coming up next, right here on The Principal’s Handbook. Stay tuned!

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Welcome back! This is episode 23, and today we’re diving into a very common challenge: doubting your decisions as a principal.

As school leaders, we make dozens of decisions every single day. Whether it’s responding to a student issue, handling a parent concern, or guiding a teacher, we’re often making decisions on the spot. And if you struggle with self-doubt, that can feel incredibly overwhelming.

I know this firsthand—I used to second-guess almost every decision I made. I’d spend hours thinking through conversations, revisiting how I handled situations, and constantly wondering, Did I do the right thing?

It drained my energy, took up valuable mental space, and made it harder to enjoy the job. That constant internal chatter made me feel like I was always getting something wrong—even when I wasn’t.

Signs You Might Be Struggling with Self-Doubt

If you’re wondering whether this is something you’re dealing with, here are a few signs:

• Constant second-guessing. You revisit every decision you make—even the small ones.

• Over-reliance on double-checking. You feel like you can’t trust your own judgment without someone else’s confirmation.

• Late-night overthinking. You replay your day at night, questioning what you said or did.

• Fear of sharing ideas. You hesitate to offer creative solutions or try new things because you’re worried how others will perceive you.

• Defensive responses. You feel uneasy or triggered when someone questions your decisions—because you’re already questioning them yourself.

What Causes Self-Doubt?

At the core, self-doubt stems from a lack of confidence.

That might surprise you—it did for me. I used to think I was confident. I thought doubting myself was just part of being thoughtful or responsible. But over time, and especially after working with a coach, I realized that confidence isn’t just about how you carry yourself—it’s about trusting yourself to make decisions and stand by them.

The tricky part? Experience alone doesn’t always fix this. Yes, time can help. But intentional strategies make the biggest difference. Let’s talk about those.

How to Stop Doubting Yourself as a Principal

1. Remember Your Value

You were chosen for this role for a reason. Your school selected you—not by accident, but because of your experience, strengths, and potential.

So, pause and reflect on:

• Your accomplishments

• Your leadership wins

• The unique strengths you bring to your building

One strategy I love is ending each day by writing down three wins. They can be big or small—a meaningful conversation, a smart decision, or just getting something crossed off your to-do list. This habit trains your brain to focus on progress rather than perfection.

2. Identify Your Growth Areas

Ask yourself:
Where am I lacking confidence?

• Is it with behavior management?

• Instructional leadership?

• Communicating with staff or parents?

Once you identify the area, seek out professional development, support, or mentorship to help you grow. Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback—especially from trusted mentors or colleagues. They can help you see blind spots and support your growth in a constructive way.

3. Adopt a Growth Mindset

Confidence doesn’t mean knowing everything. It means believing you can grow and improve.

Mistakes aren’t failures—they’re data. Use them as learning tools. Every time something doesn’t go the way you hoped, ask yourself, What can I take from this? Not, What’s wrong with me?

Let go of the idea that you should be perfect. Leadership is a journey—not a destination.

4. Set Realistic Expectations

Stop expecting perfection. You’re going to make mistakes. We all do. That doesn’t make you a bad principal—it makes you a human one.

You’re modeling what it means to be a learner, and that’s exactly what we ask of our staff and students.

5. Build a Support System

You need safe spaces where you can be honest and vulnerable. Whether it’s a coach, a principal group, or a mentor, build a network where you can share challenges, get advice, and gain perspective.

Make sure you’re talking to people who get it. That could be someone in your district or someone in another district in a similar role. Find people you trust—who will lift you up and hold space for your growth.

6. Create a Confidence Plan

Confidence doesn’t happen by chance—it happens by design.

Create a plan that outlines how you’ll build your confidence step by step. That might include:

• Specific goals for growth

• Professional development you want to pursue

• Skill-building opportunities

• Coaching support

• Mindset work

One of my favorite tools is the idea of your 1.0 self vs. 2.0 self. Your 1.0 self is where you are now. Your 2.0 self is the version of you who leads with clarity, confidence, and calm.

Ask yourself:
Who do I want to become?
What steps will get me there?

Confidence comes when you intentionally bridge that gap.

Why This Matters

Working on your confidence will make you a better leader—and a happier one.

When you stop doubting yourself:

• You become more effective and decisive.

• Your staff and community trust you more.

• You enjoy your work again.

We all do better when we feel more confident. So give yourself the space and grace to grow in that direction.