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Welcome to The Principal’s Handbook, your go-to resource for principals looking to revamp their leadership approach and prioritize self-care. I’m Barb Flowers, a certified life coach with eight years of experience as an elementary principal. Tune in each week as we explore strategies for boosting mental resilience, managing time effectively, and nurturing overall wellness. From tackling daily challenges to maintaining a healthy work-life balance, I’m Barb Flowers. We’ll navigate the complexities of school leadership together. Join me in fostering your sense of purpose as a principal and reigniting your passion for the job. Welcome to a podcast where your well-being is the top priority.

Welcome, everyone! I’m excited today to have a special guest, Will Parker. It’s an honor to have him here because, back when I was a principal, I listened to his podcast every day on my way to work. He also mentored me in one of his mastermind groups, so it’s amazing to have him on the podcast. Welcome, Will!

Will Parker:
Barb, it’s so fun to be on the other side of the podcast. Congratulations on the work you’re doing! I love supporting principals—it’s so important. You’ve written a couple of books now, including Pause, Breathe, Flourish: Living Your Best Life as an Educator. Tell us a little about that book and why you decided to write it.

Will Parker:
Most of the time when I write, it’s because I keep answering the same question over and over again. That book was published in 2020, right in the middle of COVID. But I started writing it a couple of years earlier because leaders often ask, “How can I do this work sustainably?” or “How do I avoid burnout?”

The book was born from my own experience of hitting the wall. I had been a classroom teacher for 11 years, then became an assistant principal at a large high school. In my second year, my wife and I had four young kids, and I remember how patient she was as I spent late nights working and early mornings catching up. I thought that hard work would make me a better leader, but it was at the expense of everything else in my life that kept me healthy.

One evening, after putting the kids to bed, my wife said, “The kids and I have decided that you’re a husband and a dad only on the weekends. The rest of the time, the school owns you.” She said it without bitterness, just resignation. It hit me hard. So that night, instead of working, I wrote my resignation letter. I knew I had to figure out a way to balance my responsibilities at school and my life at home, or I’d be leaving the profession.

Thankfully, I stayed, and it was through intentional practices that I rediscovered what it meant to flourish both as a leader and as a person. That’s why I wrote the book—I wanted to share the cycles of reflection that helped me, so others could avoid burnout too. I broke the book into 10 areas of reflection, covering everything from relationships to finances and personal health, giving readers permission to dig deep and figure out where they want to grow.

Barb Flowers:
Your story gave me chills. So many administrators can relate to that feeling of putting everything into work and neglecting family or self-care. I think it’s a topic that needs more attention. When I first became an assistant principal, I found out I was pregnant and had a one-year-old at home. It was hard to juggle everything, but it’s so important to find that balance.

Will Parker:
I hear that from so many leaders. If you ever ask them what they regret most in their careers, it’s often, “I wish I’d spent more time with my family.” But balancing everything is challenging. We’re all familiar with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs in education, right? The idea is that basic needs have to be met before we can move to self-actualization.

Later in his career, Maslow added a level above self-actualization—transcendence. He realized that once people understand themselves and have their basic needs met, there’s a whole world of experience that opens up—there’s a universal truth that we can all experience. Transcendence is about living in awe and wonder, connecting with something bigger than yourself. That’s when we truly begin to flourish.

So, when we reflect on areas of our life—health, relationships, learning, spirituality—we create the best conditions to grow. Just like a farmer needs good soil, we need these essentials to flourish in every aspect of our lives.

Barb Flowers:
I love that. It’s a bigger picture, right? We can get so stuck in the day-to-day grind. Sometimes, we need a reminder that we’re not as indispensable as we think. Our families, health, and self-care should be our priority. We can get caught up in thinking that we’re the most important part of the equation, but if we’re not well, we won’t be effective in our leadership.

Will Parker:
Exactly. There’s a balance to be struck. I always tell people two things that sound contradictory: First, you’re not as important as you think you are. Eventually, the school will go on without you. But second, you’re way more important than you think you are. You make a bigger impact than you realize. The simple things, like showing kindness or encouragement, are powerful. It’s about keeping things in perspective.

The goal is to be humble and recognize that the work will continue without you, but while you’re there, give it your best.

Barb Flowers:
I love that balance—recognizing both sides. We do get stuck in extremes sometimes, thinking we have to work 60 hours a week to be a good principal or that we should work just 30 hours to have the perfect work-life balance. It’s about finding that middle ground.

Will Parker:
I call that avoiding the binary. My nephew once said, “It’s not always a binary choice—there could be a third option.” It’s not about picking between two extremes; it’s about finding what works for you. In leadership, it’s the same. We don’t have to be all-enforcers or all-protectors. We can combine high standards with high support. That’s where the magic happens.

Barb Flowers:
That’s such a great point. It’s about avoiding extremes and finding a way to balance personal care and professional responsibility.

Will Parker:
Exactly. When I transitioned from assistant principal to high school principal, I had a moment when I was overwhelmed with tasks. I chose to go for a run instead of diving into work. It energized me for the day, and I realized that I had a choice—I could take care of myself and still be a great leader.

Barb Flowers:
That’s such a great example of how self-care helps us be more effective leaders. Exercise or personal development can give you the energy you need to take on the demands of the job.

Will Parker:
It’s all about prioritizing self-care and making it part of your routine. For example, I lay out my workout clothes the night before so I don’t waste time looking for them in the morning. It’s about creating habits that support your well-being, even when life gets busy.

Barb Flowers:
I love that. It’s the same with boundaries. When we set them, we free up mental space and energy for what really matters.

Will Parker:
Exactly. And it’s also about the mental diet. What are you feeding your mind? Are you consuming stress-inducing news, or are you filling your mind with things that help you grow and feel energized? I limit my news intake and focus on what’s positive and productive.

Barb Flowers:
That’s a great habit. It’s easy to get caught up in the cycle of negativity, but it’s important to control what we allow into our minds.

Will Parker:
It really is. I also recommend doing a regular self-assessment, like the Life Score Assessment by Michael Hyatt. It helps you evaluate different areas of your life, such as relationships and personal growth. It helps you reflect on how you’re doing and what areas you need to prioritize.

Barb Flowers:
I’ll link that resource in the show notes. I love the idea of reflecting regularly on all aspects of life. It helps create that balance.

Will Parker:
Exactly. Reflecting and prioritizing the right things are key to flourishing.

Barb Flowers:
Thank you so much for being here today, Will. It’s been such a great conversation. How can people connect with you?

Will Parker:
You can find me at my website, WilliamDParker.com, where I share my podcast and newsletter. I also work with school leaders across the U.S. through coaching and mastermind groups. I’ve had the chance to present to whole staff teams as well, helping them prioritize self-care. Thanks for having me on, Barb! I’m proud of the work you’re doing.

Barb Flowers:
Thank you, Will! It was an honor to have you on. Everyone, be sure to check out Will’s resources and connect with him. And if you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts so others can find it. Thanks for listening, and I’ll see you next time!